Almost here

i wrote this poem a long time ago…
but i like it…

almost here

closing my eyes as tight as i could

i could almost see his skin
a little darker than mine
and his beautiful smile,
and his rich deep brown eyes,
his eyes glistening in the light
as he looks into my eyes

i could almost smell his cologne
like the day his skin
accidently brushed mine
and i was in pure esctasy
he smells like a summer breeze
as it washes over me

i could almost feel his hand
he held my hand and let go
as we put our hands up
and our hands were like
the opposite poles of a manget
colliding with each other

i could almost hear his voice
as it rises and falls to
the melodious tune as he sings
my name to his own harmony
above the song of the wind
and i clap for him

i could almost taste his lips
that time we kissed under
the beautiful starlit sky and
and i felt him suck very softly
on my bottom lip and tongue
and i felt butterflies in my stomach

i hear an loud ringing sound
in the distance and all the beautiful,
vibrant colors were eradicated,
and i wake up, face up
looking at the white ceiling
i want to moan and groan

it takes me a second, then i smile
and get up out of my bed
my mom waiting in the next room
asks why i am smiling
i dont hesitate at all
i sit next to her and tell her

i was dreaming of someone special

Published in: on May 13, 2008 at 9:30 pm Comments (0)
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Eating Disorders

two words… that i still dont get why they even have them…
the stereotype of beauty is being skinny…
eating disorders are severe disturbances in eating behavior characterized by peroccupation with weight concerns and unhealthy effort to control weight. the vast majority of cases consist of two sometimes overlapping sydromes: anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa.

anorexia nervosa involves intense fear of gaining weight, disturbed body image, refusal to maintain normal body weight, and dangerous measures to lose weight. two subtypes have been observed. in restricting type anorexia nervosa, people drastically reduce their food intake, sometimes literally starving themselves. in binge-eating/purging type anorexia nervosa, individuals attempt to lose weight by forcing themselves to to vomit after meals, by misusing laxatives and diuretics, and by engaging in excessive exercise

both types suffer from distrubed body image. no matter how frail they become, they insist that they are too fat. their morbid fear of obesity means that they are never satisified with their weight. if they gain a pound or two, they panic. the only thing that makes them happy is to lose more weight. the frequent result is the relentless decline in body image; people who are entering treatment for anorexia nervosa are typically 25-30% below the normal weight. because of their disturbed body image, individuals suffering from anorexia nervosa generally do not appreciate the maladaptive quality of their behavior and rarely seek treatment on their own. they are typically coaxed or coerced into treatment by friends or family member who is alarmed by their appearence.

anorexia nervosa eventually leads to a cascade of medical problems, including amenorrhea, loss of menstrual cycles, gastronintesinal problems, low blood pressure, osteroporosis, and metabolic disturbances that can lead to cardic arrest or circulatory collapse. anorexia is a serious illness that leads to death in 5-10% of patients.

bulimia nervosa involves habitually engaging in out-of control overeating followed by unhealthy compensatory efforts, such as selfinduced vomiting, fasting, abuse of laxatives and diuretics, and excessive exercise. the eating binges are usually carried out in secret and are followed by intense guilt and conern about gaining weight. these feelings motivate ill advised strategies to undo the effects of overeating. however vomiting prevents absorption of only about half of the recent consumed food, and the laxative and diuretics have negligible impact on caloric intake, so individuals suffering from bulimia nervosa typically maintain a reasonably normal weight. medical problems associated with bulimia nervosa include cardic arrythmia, dental problems, metabolic deficiencies, and gastrointestinal problems.

obviously bulimia nervosa shares many features with anorexia nervosa, such as a morbid fear of becoming obese, preoccupation with food, and a rigid maladaptive approaches to controlling weight that are grounded in naive all-or-none thinking. however the sydromes also differ in crucial ways. first and foremost, bulimia is a much less life-threatening conidition. second, although their appearance is usually more normal than seen with anorexia, people with bulimia are much more likely to recognize that their eating behavior is pathological and are more likely to cooperate with treatment

so where in the torah, the bible, or the qur’an does it say that fat people are ugly or skinny people are beautiful? thin is not the new beautiful. i hate it when people think like that. young women are comparing themselve to the girls in the media. otherwise they wont get men to love then. look at queen latifah, shes big and beautiful and a successful woman.

beauty should come from within because, as i said earlier looks fade very easily. we dont have to look a certain way to be beautiful because we are all beautiful in our own way. i think people who are anorexic and bulimic should try to focus more on their intelligence and kindness because in the end only those two things will matter more, much, much more than beauty.

“in the end, only kindness matters.”